It started about two weeks ago when I noticed that the floorboards near the radiators in both the living room and bedroom were wet. Upon further investigation, I found a slow leak from the area around the knob which controls the flow of hot water into the units. Not knowing what else to do, I set up buckets and string, so that the water would travel down the string and into the waiting buckets. This was working fine, but was obviously a temporary solution.
Then, two days ago, when my landlord came with the month’s bills, I showed him the problem. He seemed worried, and was a little testy, admonishing me for having turned the knobs. Apparently one should not turn such knobs. He said he would look into the problem. Then, when I returned from school today, I found the buckets gone; the problem had been repaired. Also was a little note, headlined “Mett†(his understanding of my name,) asking me to never touch the knobs.
Just a few minutes ago he came by to collect my payment for the bills, adding that the radiator repair would cost an extra 20 RON ($7.50.) I was hesitant, and did not immediately hand over the money. He looked at me and began to explain what had happened. He had called up the people responsible for such things and begged them to come right over. Apparently two men came to the apartment and repaired the problem without much ado. He then went on to explain that if the problem had been worse, it would have cost $500 to repair, because the heating system for the entire apartment bloc would have to be shut off and drained.
Now, although he had fixed the problem, and quickly, I was reluctant to pay because I did not feel responsible for having caused this situation. Sometimes the heat would get too hot, and I’d use the knob to reduce the amount of hot water being piped into the radiator. This is, as far as I am concerned, the function of the knob. I was annoyed that my landlord was insinuating that I had caused this problem by some sort of negligence. Although my use of the knob resulted in the leak, my use of the knob fell well within the realm of normal behavior. Therefore, I saw this as a defect in the apartment’s hardware, and believed that he, as landlord, should pay to rectify it.
Unfortunately, this made him a bit upset. He appeared to think that my refusal to pay was based on a belief that he was a liar. Although he didn’t get rude, he was a bit testy, to which I felt compelled to respond. However, when you are arguing in a foreign language you know only so well, you are bound to lose; perhaps I should have thought of this before raising any sign of doubt regarding the payment. Sensing that I may have caused some damage to our relationship, I did manage to say clearly, “I will pay, we will drink, and that will be all.”
So I paid, we drank a shot of brandy and that was not quite it. He again reminded me, rightly so, that he knows how to get things fixed here. This is true, as he has indeed been helpful in the past. I realized that we were talking about two different things; I viewed the issue as a matter of responsibility, he saw it as one of trust. So I made clear that I trusted him and was grateful for his service, and then he left.
I still think, though, that this leak was his responsibility. Imagine a light fixture falling from your ceiling and you are then accused of causing this damage based on the mere fact that you had used the fixture. In a way, it was he who lacked trust in me. But then again, the mistrust runs so deep here that I ought not be surprised. It was an interesting moment for sure. Did I do right?
Yes, you did right. You stood your ground, made your point, then made a conciliatory gesture. You recognized that that two different, and perhaps competing, concepts were at play: responsibility and trust. Doing and saying the right thing is hard enough even when the players are from the same culture. On your shelf is the book I gave you, “Getting to Yes.” Read it over and then, as an exercise, consider how you might have handled the situation differently.
I’d say so. Sounds like this is a case where it came down to being right vs. maintaining good relations with this guy, and in situations like that – assuming that being right isn’t crucial – there isn’t much point to arguing.
As far as responsibility goes, that landlord was definitely negligent and going by his huffiness, he probably knew it. Maybe not touching the radiator knobs is is one of those things that native Romanians know by age five.
Next time I get a nasty letter from the email server for going over quota, I will say “I will delete, we will drink, and that will be all.”
Great blog! Love the Impeach Bush banner at the top.
I can’t believe you paid the git. But, we tend to disagree when it comes to your landlord stomping all over your personal space.
I would have to agree most with Chris here who mentioned that good relations is more important in this case. I think that by putting up a stand he won’t try anything funny.
It’s interesting the different things you and I will tolerate. How many times have you said to me “I can’t believe you aren’t angry over that!” or vice versa. But it does come down to one common factor, keeping the peace.