Category Archives: Plans

Living on a Prayer

Leave a reply

As I prepare to graduate in a month, I must admit that I’m not in the happiest of places. While some parts of New Orleans have been good for me (such as becoming a less inhibited dancer,) I never really fell in with any crowd here. During my first two years I attempted to host a lot of events, but due to a general lack of reciprocity, I just kinda threw in the towel.

I’m also getting tired of being single. Someone did recently captivate my heart; for our brief time together, I felt as if I had found my other half. But, as Hedwig so told, perhaps our destiny was but as “lonely two-legged creatures.”

Maybe it’s my itinerant lifestyle… I’ve become the consummate outsider. Still, I long for that which I’ve glimpsed in others; committed relationships that may indeed be separated by great distance. Either I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve or just looking around in my own world, too shy (shy).

While such pity parties are best not attended too often, I am mindful that insanity is often described as “doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result each time.” Is that me? As a deeply curious person, I’m always trying to learn from others and improve myself along the way.

In these uncertain times, I often feel adrift in an amoral universe, pushing forward with what little we know into a future we can not possibly comprehend. Maybe it’s time I made peace with such uncertainty and just enjoyed the ride… but that little voice always manages to rise above the din to ask: “but what are you doing?” I don’t have an answer. What would you say? What keeps you grounded? Have you settled?

So as I prepare to leave once again, to return to the unfamiliar, I can see the highway receding in the rear view mirror, flat and anonymous. Did I succeed or did I fail (both myself and others)? Did this journey take me forward or did it starkly expose my limits? Am I doing the right thing?

Dear reader, thanks for sticking this one out; its been difficult to write but I needed to do it. Wishing you well, from here, for now,

~WD

Autumn Update

1 Reply

Well it is finally autumn down here in New Orleans. Unfortunately, my pumpkin rotted and I had to trash it. As the front sweeps away down here, the drama in the air is palpable. On most every front, there is a lot of heady shit going down. For instance, it appears that Halliburton was indeed the culprit behind the Deepwater Horizon disaster. This is the same corporation that has been defrauding American taxpayers for years. Pause for a moment and consider the recent news that GlaxoSmithKlien had been ordered to pay a $750 M fine for selling tainted drugs. The settlement, negotiated with the DOJ, was for civil and criminal penalties. I begin to wonder whether this is just the “cost of doing business,” at least when you are out to poison people anyway. The fine is a landmark, though, and I’ll take it. My mini-course on the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA) touched upon many of these themes. Were the DOJ to tackle Halliburton, the Federal Govt. could just possibly recover some of the assets sucked up by the Cheney network.

On top of this (already old) news, we’re also in an election season… yay! Luckily I don’t watch much network TV, so I’m spared most of the local ads. What I do see is that a crazed movement, two parts sheer ignorance and one part racism, is out to wreak great havoc. As a soon to be young lawyer, I’m hoping that things don’t go completely off the rails. Did you know that a question on the Massachusetts ballet would reduce revenue thereby necessitating major service cuts on the T? Whatever. The Taxes are Too Damn High! Last stop, Brighton Beach.

But there are also some signs of hope, particularly in California. Now, California has really become a dysfunctional mess of late; however, it’s importance to America necessitates an optimism about the Golden State. California may legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Given the violence and collateral damage of the “war on drugs,” isn’t it time we re-thought or national policies? Geez. Should this pass, I’d like to see what Justice does about it. Perhaps the deeper question here is whether/how we can transition from a military industrial complex to a R&D industrial complex. The U.S. is lagging way behind its peers on these expenditures. We do, however, get royally ripped off by our B.S. healthcare system and our lousy educational system (at least for the poor).

Federalism, a concept most “tea partiers” do not care to understand, allows the states to serve as laboratories of democracy. It also constructs, or concedes, certain functions to the federal government. I’m not so cynical to say that this system can no longer function, but I’m not so blind to see how it has been severely perverted. America has become somewhat perverted. We can’t even change unconscionable, legally deficient policies? Obama’s got to heat back up, because his bi-partisanship has really slowed things to a glacial crawl. Actually, I’ll take that back; the glaciers are probably chipping away at an increased rate these days… again, whatever. Kick in the crotch!

So, let us celebrate that we may (and really must) vote, get dressed up/down for halloween, and eat one too many tootsie rolls. Toast some apple cider, spiced or otherwise, to the possibility that this may be our last best chance.

~WD

Caveat Emptor

2 Replies

I returned from New Orleans early this morning not having accomplished my goal. The main reason I went down there was to find housing with three other guys. Although we spent an enjoyable evening eating and listening to great music, and found some very nice places the following day, I decided to withdraw from the group. I did not make this decision lightly. The three other guys (one of which I had met during the admitted students weekend) are all great people. My decision was based on a largely gut level reaction which told me that I would not be a good fit within the group. I discussed this feeling with some family and friends, and received reinforcement to trust my instincts.

This has been very difficult, but I am at the stage in my life (25 going on 26,) where I need to be entirely comfortable and at home in my surroundings. Although I am still trying to define just what that is, exactly, I feel like I do have a better understanding of what it is not; this, my working definition, is something I may not have been able to articulate a few years ago. I can only hope that those guys understood and were not offended.

Although it is a bit crushing to be nowhere further along tangibly on the housing front, I did get a better idea of what to expect housing-wise when I make my next trip down there to try again. Though I’m not yet sure what form my next housing attempt will embody, I’m willing to try again. I can only hope I “have right.”

Coming

2 Replies

It has been very interesting around here, in a good way. I am pleased with what I am doing although it may not be the most glamorous thing. Tomorrow I’m heading into the past for a new adventure! Oh my, Homecoming at Trinity, this is me. I come from a strange place and so shall I go. I can’t anticipate all that might happen, but perhaps it’s best not to always be able to do so. It’s nice to have the day off and stay up late – ha!

Shana Tova

1 Reply

Tonight is Jewish New Year’s Eve; we welcome the year 5768. Although I’m not too religious, it’s pretty amazing to think of they year being 5768 as opposed to 2007. When Judaism is viewed in its totality, its staying power is inspirational. As with most new years traditions, on Rosh Hashanah, Jews are asked to both reflect on the previous year and meditate on goals for the upcoming one. One of my goals is to do well in my job, and to continue to develop a network of friends and colleagues. As this celebration coincides with my first day on the job solo, I am inspired not only to do well for the sake of those who are depending on me, but also for myself.

My life has taken an interesting path, especially in the past few years. I have been challenged immensely, and I have grown. But still I am not all I wish to be, and sometimes doubts and insecurities win out over logic and rationality. However, I know that to be entirely rational, dispassionate and uber-Randian is not the answer. That middle ground, though, between what you currently are and that which you would like to become, is elusive and ever-changing. Just as events in the world change, so too do our own expectations and priorities. To be unsure is not folly in and of itself, rather, the loss of curiosity regarding ourselves and our world is what poses the greatest threat to our personal and collective evolution.

So on this new day, if you care, share some of your thoughts on your process of becoming, and the definitions your seek.