I’m still alive – in fact, I’ve been feeling very alive these past few weeks, so excuse the lack of postings. A brief update: I have secured housing in New Orleans; I will be sharing a small house about a mile from campus with two other guys. The process was not easy but it seems to have worked out well. I have met a wonderful guy, someone with whom I can be myself. I got to see a bunch of my very good friends in a special place. Not all is well in the world, but Fortuna’s wheel (too often down,) is now up. Any suggestions?
Category Archives: Personal Life
Taking the Scenic Route
The Kancamagus highway is one of the nicest roads in the Northeast. Running from Lincoln to Conway New Hampshire, it traverses Mt. Kancamagus, headwater of both the Saco and Swift River. It is sometimes difficult to maintain in the winter, but the summer months are a breeze. The area is within a national forest, so the area is managed Federally. The roads, thus, are in very good condition.
Along the highway, you’ll pass many scenic areas. From Lincoln, the first and more hidden openings are trailheads for longer forays. Further along you enter a scenic vista area as the road winds it way up the mountain. The pavement for this serpentine and sometimes hairpin stretch is flat and solid, perfect for a cruise. Coming down is much of the same. Entering the foothills the terrain moderates somewhat as you follow the Swift River. Lucky for the early summer passerby, the river offers many recreational venues. In addition to hike accessible waterfalls and large mountain lakes, the river provides fishing, swimming and limited boating potential.
I first learned about the place as a summer camp student at Waziyatah. Lower falls is an area of the river which offers some thrilling play; here the flow of the river has created some natural waterslides. The experience varies based on how high the river is running, but there is a predictable pattern of water which has, over the centuries, worn some very smooth crevices into the rock. But this ain’t no cheesy kids park. In fact, the area is quite dangerous. Visitors could, theoretically, slip and be seriously injured (but rest assured dear reader, the Feds certainly have a few good lawyers in their arsenal.) These chutes have formed within the larger context of jagged boulders, little swirling pools, and a myriad of river creatures; here nature has allowed mankind to play. On a sunny day, you can swim, scamper between outcroppings, sun, or, if you are brave, ride a little.
But don’t go right in the middle of the day, after all, I’m not the only one to know about this. The region is just south of Franconia via I-93 and is dotted with ski slopes, mostly tasteful amenities and ample other outdoor opportunities from tame to eXtreme.
Caveat Emptor
I returned from New Orleans early this morning not having accomplished my goal. The main reason I went down there was to find housing with three other guys. Although we spent an enjoyable evening eating and listening to great music, and found some very nice places the following day, I decided to withdraw from the group. I did not make this decision lightly. The three other guys (one of which I had met during the admitted students weekend) are all great people. My decision was based on a largely gut level reaction which told me that I would not be a good fit within the group. I discussed this feeling with some family and friends, and received reinforcement to trust my instincts.
This has been very difficult, but I am at the stage in my life (25 going on 26,) where I need to be entirely comfortable and at home in my surroundings. Although I am still trying to define just what that is, exactly, I feel like I do have a better understanding of what it is not; this, my working definition, is something I may not have been able to articulate a few years ago. I can only hope that those guys understood and were not offended.
Although it is a bit crushing to be nowhere further along tangibly on the housing front, I did get a better idea of what to expect housing-wise when I make my next trip down there to try again. Though I’m not yet sure what form my next housing attempt will embody, I’m willing to try again. I can only hope I “have right.”
To Storytelling
I have been fortunate to have surrounded myself with people of good taste throughout my life; as such, I have gained knowledge of many things to which I would not have otherwise been exposed. One rather prosaic example is TV shows either from the past or that I have just not seen.
As a boy and teen, I would summer visiting my grandmother on the Jersey Shore. Gram was a bit past her days of swimming in the ocean, but had a membership to a wonderful beach club where I would pass the time riding the waves, working on my stroke, and yes, visiting the snack bar. In addition to this idyllic play, I’d spend the evenings in the crisp chill of her apartment studying my haftorah, playing with my cousins or watching TV.
As in most markets, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune were both on back to back. Although she claimed to be in for Jeopardy, we always seemed to settle into attention when the wheel began to spin.
Another classic was Hawaii 5-0 which pitted Steve McGarrett against various nefarious characters hanging about our most lovely of states. The arch-villain, the one to whom even the venerable McGarrett was impotent, was always referred to by Gram with reverence and hushed voice… “Wo-Fat!”
It was in among this almost maniacal reverence where I came to see the importance of plot, predicability and character. In this most American of mediums was to be found justice, growth, and perhaps even fortune. And as we read, did crossword puzzles and otherwise multitasked, it felt for a minute that we were wiser and that we had learned.
Meow Mix
Over the past few years I’ve made some dramatic choices in my life. I guess the most dramatic was joining the Peace Corps and venturing half way around the world for 2 1/2 years. Those times were tough but rewarding, and I don’t regret them at all. However, after I was finished with the Peace Corps I could have either gone right to law school or taken some time off. I decided to do the latter, and although I had originally wanted to do a cross-country road trip, I ended up taking a VISTA position in Maine. Thinking about that decision now, with just a few months left, I think I made a mistake.
I had hoped that Maine would be a rustic welcoming place, but instead I found it cold and suspicious. I imagine that part of the difficulty I experienced here was the fact that I was transitioning; we are warned by the Peace Corps that re-adjustment is a difficult process. But I can’t help but feel that I’ve wasted precious time here, and frankly that feeling just sucks. I have come to realize that I need to be in an environment that is more conducive to socialization. I’m not a giant party animal but I like to have things to do and a good group of friends to do them with (who doesn’t?) Unfortunately, as an outsider, I’ve had a really hard time establishing that here.
This lack has led me to question myself and since I tend to be my harshest critic, it’s kinda a depressing cycle. I have had my moments of expanding beyond my comfort zone, but things just haven’t clicked on a satisfactory level. Though there have been some great moments and people, these have been fragmented and too far in between. I yearn to belong somewhere and no longer be transient, but I haven’t found that place yet, and so continue to search, always looking out for what may lie just around the corner.