Category Archives: Reflections

The Face

– I think live-blogging is a neat idea, but have never done/participated in it.

– I scored 124 today on an online IQ test from mistupid.com (no link due to excessive addage)

– I wonder if I, in some way, am an artist.

– I start to think that a disjointed list of bulleted statements beginning with “I….” may seem a bit bombastic.

– By George! It’s my own damn website, I can follow any format I wish!

– The floor is vibrating… it is either sex going on or the washing machine… really.

– I am still the guy running around naked on the quad?

– Is getting obsessive with managing his Facebook profile.

– Is proud of himself, sometimes.

Matt’s Mature but Single Friday

Today it rained heavily for the entire day, a first in my Maine book. I didn’t go in to the office at all today. Rather, I drove down for a 10 o’clock meeting in Portland. My supervisor, MT, likes to organize, and one of her things is a “regional roundtable.” This is not one of her duties, rather something that she has brought to the position in her gushingly outward and inspiring style. It was held at the University of New England’s Westbrook campus. UNE, like many of the schools at which my VISTAs work, has multiple campuses; in UNE’s case, Biddeford and Westbrook (really just an outer streetcar suburb of Portland.)

Biddeford is the “down and out former mill city” of Southern Maine, just as Lewiston is to to the “Lakes and Mountains” region. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. While both Biddeford and Lewiston can be easily accessed from I-95, Biddeford is south of Portland therefore placing it in more of a seasonal influx area. Lewiston and Auburn (the twin mill-towns/cities sitting directly across the heavily polluted Androscoggin river,) are more off the beaten track.

To explain, to get off for Biddeford when driving up I-95 from Boston, you will be on the Maine Turnpike, the effective yet uninspired template later used for the Eisenhower Interstate System. At this point the highway is three lanes on each side. However, as you approach Portland, the three lane highway ends and what’s left is a branch in the system. Before 2004, I-95 would continue up through Portland and Brunswick to Augusta, the state capital. It should be noted, however, that the original Maine Turnpike consisted of a route up to Auburn/Lewiston before reaching Augusta. In essence, when interstate highways were Federalized and numerated, the Auburn/Lewiston section was designated as a spur. In 2004, however, this was changed/rectified [PDF], and now I-95 goes through Auburn/Lewiston, thereby holding faithful to the original post-War route.

Now, given all this, you might think that the Auburn/Lewiston area would get more traffic, but that’s just not true, largely due to the inescapable fact that Portland is an active deep-water port. Portland, a once crucial Canadian/New England freight/rail hub which rivaled Boston, is still active, thanks in no small part to the cruise industry. So what does this social/historical engineering lesson suggest? Well, the result is that I-95 to Lewiston is less traveled than the road to Portland. This is Lewiston’s great drawback, even though, if refurbished, it would be a respectable, if not spectacular city in a charming Maine kind of way.

Anyway, what this had to do about my meeting today is that it was held at UNE’s Portland campus. My VISTA and her supervisor who work on the Biddeford campus had never been to the Portland campus… yet they reserved a nice conference room there. Now I’m not familiar with colleges having multiple physical campuses, because I went to a self-contained little liberal arts college (thank you very much.) UNE’s Biddeford campus the liberal-arts / homeopathic medicine / marine science hub. The newly revived Portland campus (thanks to the new Dean,) is focused on the college’s more scientific mission, in this case, “undergraduate programs in dental hygiene and nursing and graduate programs in nurse anesthesia, occupational therapy, physical therapy, physician assistant, and social work.” The liberal arts campus, (Biddeford,) doesn’t know what to think and is pissed that the liberal-arts mission of the institution is not being pushed. That’s the situation one of my VISTAs is working in… interesting. She, however, is amazingly ambitious and has a a fantastic counterpart; it is readily apparent that the two work well together and feed off of one another’s different but related energies.

It was a fruitful meeting, and although I didn’t contribute too much, I was pleased to see MT’s project go over so well. Finishing at around 3 I decided to swing through Portland before returning to Lewiston. Mind you that it was still pouring. While driving through Portland a store caught my eye so I drove down to the water, parked and walked up Exchange street, the hip/yuppy center to find Simply Scandinavian Foods. The store carries some Swedish a staples, offers Swedish bakery items to order (in addition to the few on display) and interestingly sports a prominent Jewish component (think about that one.) Right in the front of the store, well placed if I may say, is a large display of Bilar. Bilar is a famous Swedish candy that has been around for over 50 years (read about it here if you wish) and something I haven’t had since my flight back from Stockholm on SAS. 4 dollars seemed about right for the Sweedish made English version. (n.b. I just ran to get them now.)

Back to Lewiston, soggy, I tuned into the local hate radio station, WLOB 96.3. Hannity bored me so I scanned and landed on a Jesus station broadcasting a rousing bleat extolling the value of goin’ to church on Sunday. After that, some more scanning brought me to a recording of a Midwestern twanged woman delivering a reactionary anti-feminist screed berating those of the female sex who chose to focus on anything other than solely “pleasing their man, raising a family, and loving the lord.” I have never heard this message as intensely and clearly broadcast; the Christian right is either taking over or in its last gasps.

After forcing myself to the gym (and seeing boi dude there, interestingly,) I prepared buffalo and asparagus on the recently purchased stovetop grill. A bath was on tap and I figured out how to listen to music and control iTunes without moving the computer into the bathroom (hint, because I have a PC it involves lots of cables… though I’m sure it could be done over Bluetooth.) Some atmosphere, writing and endless pedantic editing. Here I grind to the present and can do little more but speculate. I’ll try to enjoy my caramel apple and Bilar as I do.

Shana Tova

Tonight is Jewish New Year’s Eve; we welcome the year 5768. Although I’m not too religious, it’s pretty amazing to think of they year being 5768 as opposed to 2007. When Judaism is viewed in its totality, its staying power is inspirational. As with most new years traditions, on Rosh Hashanah, Jews are asked to both reflect on the previous year and meditate on goals for the upcoming one. One of my goals is to do well in my job, and to continue to develop a network of friends and colleagues. As this celebration coincides with my first day on the job solo, I am inspired not only to do well for the sake of those who are depending on me, but also for myself.

My life has taken an interesting path, especially in the past few years. I have been challenged immensely, and I have grown. But still I am not all I wish to be, and sometimes doubts and insecurities win out over logic and rationality. However, I know that to be entirely rational, dispassionate and uber-Randian is not the answer. That middle ground, though, between what you currently are and that which you would like to become, is elusive and ever-changing. Just as events in the world change, so too do our own expectations and priorities. To be unsure is not folly in and of itself, rather, the loss of curiosity regarding ourselves and our world is what poses the greatest threat to our personal and collective evolution.

So on this new day, if you care, share some of your thoughts on your process of becoming, and the definitions your seek.

The Future is NOW

Some of us are so fortunate to be enriched by the presence and guidance of others in our lives. I would like to take a minute to talk about one such person, who is now retiring from the position through which our connection was made.

In the 6th grade, I began school in a new town. As a 12 year old boy, having just left behind my childhood friends, I felt like a fish out of water in that new place. One day after school, I decided to head down to the pool for intramural swimming. I recall that this option was never a very popular one… it seemed that basketball and wrestling got the lion’s share of participants. Some weeks it was just me, other weeks there were some others, but all in all it was pretty unstructured. There I met the assistant coach of the high school swim team. Little did I know at that time, but this assistant coach, we’ll call him “valz,” was serving as a spy for the team. Come 8th grade, he encouraged me to join the swim team the following year.

So, the following year, having roped in two friends to join me, I headed over to the pool to see just what the deal was with this swim team. What I ended up a part of was perhaps the single most important thing to take place during my high school years, and to date one of the most important in my life. I can’t recall what the first day was like, but I do remember that I found myself a tad intimidated, surrounded by many swimmers who I felt were far better than me. I hadn’t touched any sort of weights before then, and I was really just your run of the mill scrawny 15 year old.

But I soon realized that I was somewhere special, and for this I have Pete Foley to thank. Foley, at that time, was already a legend in the town. He was not only the swim team coach, but also the athletic director responsible for the oversight of all teams. I recall his office as being filled with trophies, team photos, candids and loads of paperwork; the faces on the walls and desks spoke volumes. During that first year with the team I worked as hard as I had ever in my life.

It’s always difficult to say right off the bat how some people are able to inspire others. With Foley, part of his genius was that although he was always present, in fact a force, he never micromanaged. That is, he was able to channel his efforts so that group cohesion would grow upon itself. And so I went from being a relative loner to a member of this great extended family which was the team. Now don’t get me wrong, there were days when the last thing we wanted to do was even dip a toe in that pool, but somehow “The Folz” kept us going.

My first moment with the Folz was born out of less than fortuitous circumstances. I had completed the backstroke leg of a 200 yd medley relay (order = back, breast, fly, free.) We had done well, a respectable third place. However, after the final member of the medley clocked in, I though it would be in order to hop back in a swim a warm-down lap, after all, this was the standard practice after a sprint. What I failed to realize was that in the case of relays, only the last swimmer was entitled to this lap, and if a member from a previous leg touched the water again then the group was disqualified.

I recall vividly that as I was in the air between the lip of the pool and the surface of the water, I turned to see the Folz looking at me in horror. Of course what followed was an ignominious whistle by the referee (a grumpy one,) followed by the notice that I had just disqualified the relay. But it was what happened next that was really the main event. Foley came over and explained what I had done. He was upset, of course, but he was not vituperative and he did not embarrass me any further than I already was. I knew I had screwed up bad, but I never once felt defensive. Later that evening on the bus ride back to town the team captain came up to me with some encouraging words; again the entire team was “on message.”

Thankfully, not all Folz moments were born out of such circumstances. There was, for instance, the training trip in Maine. While at a restaurant, he was approached and asked for his autograph. Although Folz was well known and respected, high school swimming coaches are not usually afforded such a request. We soon realized that his would be admirer had mistaken him for John McCain, who at that point was driving his Straight Talk Express around New England… At the end of the school year I wrote into the McCain campaign and requested a poster (can you believe that?) which arrived promptly. After those of us who were present at the original signing signed it ourselves, we presented it to him. He was, of course, quite flattered…

My senior year I was elected one of the team’s captains. Of course, these four years were full of other stories, events and mishaps. Let it suffice to say, though, that the transition from a scrawny 15 year old kid to a confident and trusted team leader was due to the leadership of the Folz. But even more important than my story is the fact that there are a few hundred people out there, from 18 – 50 years old now, who have a similar one thanks to this man. Pete Foley was both a kick in the ass and the inspiration that drove us to be champions. As he enters his long deserved retirement, he can rest assured that his contribution to the team, the town, and hundreds if not thousands of young men and women will never be forgotten.

Thanks Folz,

Personality Test

Neuroticism
89
Extraversion
17
Openness To Experience
59
Agreeableness
18
Conscientiousness
41

You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others’ needs than with your own. You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.

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